It is funny how I claim to hate love yet wish to experience it someday. Maybe because I have only witnessed the bad times, the shade behind all those plastic couples clinging onto the societies hyped version of love. Due to years of playing with sausages attached to beasts and them turning me into a puppet to satisfy desires the only thing left was a rag doll who claimed undeserving of love. Undeserving of any sort of physical or emotional connection. The past abuse created a hole of nothingness. Sometimes I do dream though, that the one man who could withstand me would be one I could never touch. Such a mysterious figure could be an idol and I one of the many fans. He would consider the audience and just see nothingness, while I look onto my one true love. Ironically, I have dreamed that the man whom would sweep me off my feet is the one I witness my first shooting star with. See, I’ve never seen one, which is funny since I have star gazed during metros showers. However, once my gaze is snatched away, the stars come, but once my eyes revert, they disappear.
Sometimes I consider that maybe having a man is not my future, maybe my relationship will be my job of providing others with necessary rights and making the world a better place. I never want to choose between the two if both presents itself to me at the same time. I would always choose my job with human rights over a man any day. But then again, I do wish for a man of great understanding and love which will last a eternity and be the envy of every woman.