Adult

My first semester is coming to an end and many things have affected and changed who I am as a person for the better. At first I thought coming to this school would be bad for me sense it is super small and everyone knows everything, about everyone; no privacy whatsoever. However later I discovered that I was on the right path, so I took a humongous breath and took a couple of steps backwards. I found out that my path was not that of a criminal crime division but working with what I’m good at which is Asian affairs. Then I had to experience many drunken one night stands and guys who only wanted to be fuck buddy’s and nothing more to discover that I’m better than being treated as a human sex toy and decided to try at a relationship next semester even though I have not been in a relationship sense sophomore year of high school. With the guy situation I have meet a couple of really good guys specially this one who lives on my floor, he is a RA and my best friend likes him so I can’t look at him in a romantic way even though I wish for another night with him of watching movies in his room and talking to him about things I have never even gotten the guts to tell; not even my mom. Every day I look at him the way a high school girl would look at the guy she liked but he just looks right threw me at that girl, even though she is stringing him around not talking to him about whether she like him or not cause he defiantly likes her. It’s like daggers shooting into my soul knowing that I would treat him like a king if he just noticed me. Then there is also another guy that I’m not sure whether I like him as a friend or more than a friend, plus once again I can’t how any real inters in him because he dated one of the girls in the sorority that I’m in the process of getting a bid for. So even if he ended up showing an interest in me I would have to risk not getting a bid in order to date him and that is not worth it. I just wish that I could find a man who was not taken, was my age, or dated a girl that I know. In other new I am almost 90% sure I’m goanna get a bid from this sorority that I have been trying to win over for the last 3 months and whenever someone mentions my name around them they say how nice and kind I am and how well I would fit in their sorority. I’m like sitting on the edge of my chair when people say these things to me saying inside of my head, “Just give me my bid already so that I can join you totally awesome group that I fit in with perfectly. Then I will be able to drink with you, hang out with all of you guys plus our brother fraternity, and sit with you at lunch so that we can converse about our days and help each other as sisters.”

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