4 yrs of ignorance

Four years, I worked off my ass for four years! And for what, so my professor could sit there and brag about other students? When I first entered my major, there were 4 favorite students. Three girls form the same sorority and one guy. The past 4...

Unpredictable Kind Souls

It’s weird how I’ve never had that friend who would drop everything just to go on an adventure. Today, god stepped in and answered my prayer’s. For weeks, I’ve been looking at tickets for this band I really like, with the lowest price being 300. The...

Wonder

It is funny how I claim to hate love yet wish to experience it someday. Maybe because I have only witnessed the bad times, the shade behind all those plastic couples clinging onto the societies hyped version of love. Due to years of playing with...

When Life takes a turn

Today I got back from Columbia that since my application was too unique, they had decided to reject me. At first I was angry at myself for not being good enough, this was supposed to be my safe school. A guaranteed yes. Then I was depressed because if...

Fragmented Love

You are to me as tragic as a Shakespeare play,  Poison to my fairy tales. The sandman sprinkles images of better times in gray, Reality of life always fails.   To think is to relive torture, Ripping a heart in two. You and I lived...

A Replacement

A replacement. A cardboard cut-out. A shadow.   Why can’t I be seen? All my life I’ve been cast aside. By sisters I’m stupid and over dramatic; By friends I’m ignored, Not even worthy of a message.   By family… I am a...

Empty Shell

I am a empty shell Nothing left but air an empty hope Hope someday I will be good enough to carry a pearl. But in reality My tainted layer will crush any possible hope Will destroy any pearl I believe in the father that raised me ...

Unattainable

I though,  just maybe,  things would change in time.  That the only man I ever loved would be free. I was his shameful secret,  a one night stand with such passion and love I hav ever felt in my entire life. Him whispering sweet promise to make me...

Is it allowed?

Has anyone felt invisible? The reason why I started writing this post 6 years ago was to cope. To cope with the constant pain internally that was ripping my soul apart. Whether it was the knife piercing my chest, praying to dear god for death,...

Is This Right?

Slang slashing vile words into my blood, Cropping into a cult. A sister to a demon, No longer what I knew. My group if on self destruction Blaming others for low numbers. Why can't these beasts open their eyes And see the truth....

Healed in Strange Ways

Threw the wind And the rain She stands hard as a stone In a world that she can rise above, Cause her dreams Give her wings And she fly’s to a places where she’s loved Concert angle. Seven years I awaited this moment...

From a Vacant Doll

Slashing, tearing, till only a dim useless spot is left. Emptiness doll with a painted smile A monster whom others visualize as prince Only a sliver left… stopped on by others… He ate her alive Not in a second Not simple and sweet ...

The Written Word

Wrapped in a emotionless cocoon surrounded by a bleak future Walking around as if invisible to faceless shapes whom used to be called ‘friends’… They say going overseas changed a person, yet fail to mention the horrible reality of coming home ...

The Glass Wall

Being back, I thought it would be the best feeling in the entire world. Yet it feels different than I expected. Like if one was the only person in the universe looking in on a small world, you saw the world pass by and once reentry is granted your...

Failure

Last semester the unmentionable happened, I failed my basic Korean Conversation class. I know it was partially my fault as well as the teachers. I didn't make enough time to study and work on the rest of my classes as well as work. I was stupid. But...

First time is the scariest time

Just sitting in my room, clutching my chest, wondering why it hurts so much. Only two days past… Five more to go… What is this feeling I have never felt in my life? He saw while I unknowingly looked away, a small root established in the...

Player to Settler

Back at my home university I am known as a player, I have had my fair share of guys and I usually don't say no. Or at least this is what people perceive me as… In reality I don’t say no because all the times I either thought the guy actually liked...

The chapter I thought would never come...

Six years ago around this time I had a knife to my stomach, I wanted to kill myself to end the harsh pain that was my reality. I almost did it too if it were not for the fear this wound would inflict on me.  In all honesty I had dreams filled with...

Older yet still alone

Next week I am going to be having my 21st birthday, which means that I am graduating in two years.. Which means that I have to apply to internship’s this semester.. Which means applications towards master schools need to be organized for senior...

Foggy Future

Today I realized something... Something that I never thought I would admit... I miss home. It finally hit me how lonely it is to live in a foreign country, especially one that barley anyone speaks English. I kept telling myself over the past...